My baby is 1

Wow. Where has the year gone? I blinked and Parker is 1. Not an infant anymore, a little girl, her own person. You can tell by my lack of entries that this past year has been in a sense a blur. I haven't posted anything since Halloween, 4 months old.  A lot has happened and the bottom line is: both of our kids are alive, healthy and happy. Here is what I know so far about our baby girl: she is a spit fire. She has a big personality in a small package. She smiles with her eyes, she loves her brother more than anything, she's a blondie, she flirts with her daddy, she thinks her name is Sissy over Parker, she loves to see me and my boob often and inconveniently still during the night and she is going to start running like tomorrow. 

She has done things at a different pace than Price. She walked right at 11 months, and got teeth sooner. She has learned from Price what to do and she wants to do things like him and not a baby. She wants his water, wants to eat with her hands, wants to run but can't. She is hilarious. 

The biggest joy this past year has seen the unexpected bond between her and Price. I wasn't prepared for that and did not expect it to happen so soon. He is such a gentle leader. He shares with her, comforts her when she is sad, makes her laugh and plays with her. I had no idea when we just had Price how much fun it would be with two babies running around. I can only imagine what the future will hold. 

I am not going to say this past year has not come without struggle. Having a second baby so soon after the first is no joke. In the trenches people, trying to survive. I'll tell you what: I would not have made it without the emotional support of my husband. There were days when he'd come home from work and I'd just cry. I didn't feel adequate, I didn't feel like I was doing a good enough job. On my good days I thought, "I nailed this mom thing but failed at the wife thing" or "I nailed the wife thing but failed at the kid thing." Forget about my social life. I think my friends think I moved or died. I did neither. I just live by naps, feedings, playtime, bedtime and repeat. I didn't realize being a mom of two little ones would be so hard. It's hard and anyone telling you it isn't is either lying or getting a LOT of help. Wine has helped. Running, when I can-has helped. Laughing at myself has helped. There are silver linings and now that she is turning 1, I am seeing more and more frequently. So I am starting to see the light. 

Looking back on the past year I don't think I'd do anything different and I don't regret anything. Sure, I would love to lose the 20 pounds of weight I'm still carrying around but I know now things don't happen as quickly as I'd like and I think I'm okay with that:) 

I'm in a mommy fog for sure but I like being in that fog. It means I'm focused on what is most important right now. And what is most important to me is dedicating my time to my little ones. Price is already 3 in September and Parker is having her 1st birthday party on Saturday. Time goes by so fast and I'm just cherishing every moment the best I can.