Tuesday, September 4, 2012

May the force be with me

Here we go! Kadin is back to school and we are on our own and forced to make it! ;) I had the luxury of having Kadin home all summer after Parker was born on June 11th. It's now September 4th and the luxury is gone. He starts football tomorrow so that means I'm with Parker and Price from 7:30-5:30. Long day. I have anxiety but I'm confident that I will get through this school year, even though I realize that this 2012-2013 school year may be the hardest of my life. 

I thought when I was teaching a school year was tough but I don't think teaching 6 classes of 25+ elementary kids all day is harder than being a mom to two small kiddos. And here is why I think it's tougher. Simply put, you care on an entirely different level than when you are teaching someone else's kids. That, and you get a new set of kids every 50 minutes. This job you get the same two kids all day, all night, day in and day out. :)

I'm not complaining, do not get me wrong. I am venting, there is a difference. I can say with 100% certainty that I would not want to do anything else at this very moment. Yes everything is challenging, tiring, frustrating and crazy but it's all worth it and I'm looking forward to the challenge. 
Like right now-pleasant and unexpected surprise: both kids are sleeping. Yes, probably not for long but still they are both sleeping and I'm able to put my feet up long enough to type out my thoughts. 

And the major bonus: if I can get through this school year I think I can get through anything, really.

The main things that will present a challenge to me are: having both kids (babies really) in diapers. Having both kids not talking. Getting through each day with hopefully an ounce of sanity after hearing "ah, ah" all day from Price because she can't talk yet. Entertaining, actually occupying, Price's time when I'm tending to Parker, mainly when I'm breast feeding her. Being okay with the fact that I feel like I'm not giving one child the adequate amount of attention he/she needs at that very moment. Being okay with not having dinner ready when Kadin gets home. Being okay with not having laundry done. Being okay with a messy and dirty house. Being okay not taking a shower every day. Being okay with not brushing my teeth or going to the bathroom when I want to. Being okay with not getting my exercise time in like I want and need to. 

Main goal each day: take care of our babies. Love them, cuddle them, read to them, talk to them, listen to them, play with them. Everything else above that I "want" to do, I'll have to learn to be okay with not getting the other stuff done. It'll take time but I know I can do it.

When Kadin gets home each day, he'll be tired but he'll still help out. I love that about him. He is such a hard worker and understands how hard this job is. I'll have 1 main job with a part time job of personal training but Kadin will have 2 main full time jobs: teaching/coaching and being a parent. 

All the stuff I won't get done during the week, we'll tackle together on the weekend and we'll get as much done as we can. 

I love my life and I love our little family and we WILL get through it. I just might need a couple extra glasses of wine here and there. 

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